Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Top 5 Religions

Hi,

As a polytheist I will believe in anything given half a chance. Here is a list of my current Top 5 religions that I find it hard not to respect.

1. Santo Daime
  • Doctrine 4
  • Complexity 7
  • Growth 9
  • X-Factor 9
That's a total score of 29 for this Brazilian based wonder.

A relatively simple doctrine that has a wide heritage taken from Christianity, south American shamanism and African animism.

It gets a massive 9 x-factor score because of the use of shamanistic drugs in its sacrament. I fully endorse the use of psychedelics as aid to spiritual growth, and they have helped me alot in the past.

In Santo Daime you're experiences are guided and interpreted by spiritual leaders. It all adds up to an inward experience that is better than a dozen trips to your shrink.

Of course many Santo Daime worshipers in the Western world have had problems practicing their religion - their sacramental tea contains a type A drug. Their religion is underground in Western Europe because of this but their following is growing at a huge rate.

2. Santeria
  • Doctrine 7
  • Complexity 6
  • Growth 6
  • X-Factor 8
Santeria has to be the most fascinating and alive religion existing. It comes in at a close second place with a score of 27.

Strictly speaking it is a blend of the African Yoruba faith and the worship of Christian saints and mythological figures. But this doesn't even scratch the surface.

Calling it Voodoo really doesn't cover it either.

Imagine gods who are not only alive, but willing to pop around your house for tea and communicate with you through your elderly grandmother.

My patron from this pantheon is Baron Zaraguin.

This religion is so popular, and believed, in the southern US and Cuba that special Catholic churches have risen up in which people volunteer to be possessed by the Loa so that they can be exorcised by priests.

That's the front line of a religious battle that has been going on for quite some time.

3. Catholicism
  • Doctrine 7
  • Complexity 8
  • Growth 3
  • X-Factor 3
That's a respectable 21 for this aged Goliath.

Catholicism is on the rise. Shades of tolerance on the home front are causing lapsed Catholics to return to their faith, and that old time religion is being pushed hard by missionaries in the developing world.

With a doctrine that is a pick and mix of different beliefs and laws it still manages to put out a united front and do good work helping people.

It gets respect from me because it introduced structured polytheism to many countries and kick started a number of other religions (not least 1 and 2 above).

"Hey - don't you mean mono-theism?" I hear you cry.... Well no.

Hands up if you're wearing a St Christopher rather than a Cross.

4. Mahikari
  • Doctrine 5
  • Complexity 3
  • Growth 4
  • X-Factor 6
What happens when you practice ancestor worship and then have your most worshiped living god forced to renounce his divinity (and that of his ancestors) at the end of world war 2?

Well you get Mahikari, which comes in with a score of 18.

Imagine a Japanese version of the Illuminati, that plots to extend their influence and reinstate their most holy blood line to its previous eminence.

A ground force of ordinary people looking for happiness are the basis for the religion, with upper echelons being taken by big businessmen, politicians etc.

Sounds like a top 100 book doesn't it? Well there are enough personal accounts, and legal cases, out there to show that this group is alive and well.

It's largest growth area is in the USA funnily enough.

5. Pastafarianism
  • Doctrine 3
  • Complexity 3
  • Growth 5
  • X-Factor 6
Kicked into last place with a score of 17 is the Church of the Flying Spaghetti monster.

Its a brilliant creation of internet culture that sets itself in direct competition with American creationist Christian doctrine.

Having a good poke at statistics and its role in US politics is the icing on the cake.

Theologians have greeted the new net religion with applause in some cases, because it brings back some much needed humour into religious debates.

Or are the Pastafarians just providing ammunition for other religions to fight with?

NP out

P.S. For 10 cool points name a famous Grant Morrison character who has Baron Zaraguin as a patron.

1 comment:

Violet said...

That was a very interesting post. If I were to rate religions, I would go by criteria such as:

how well do women fare?;
how much respect is given to non-human animals and plant life?; and how much would I have to change my lifestyle?